About three years ago, I finally started texting after realizing that the only way to communicate with my nieces and nephews was to text them or “find” them on Facebook. They ignore letters, phone messages, and even emails. I once asked my niece if she received the birthday card I sent her. She said she hardly ever goes to her mailbox. I go to my mailbox everyday and sometimes twice to see if I missed something. So when I started texting, I had to learn the lingo. Another niece had sent me a text saying she had the flu. I replied wishing her a speedy recovery, and signed off with LOL, at that time thinking it meant “Lots Of Love.” She replied saying there was nothing funny about being sick. LOL actually means “Laugh Out Loud.” But I had no problem with BTW (By The Way), until I discovered it also means “Bring The Wheelchair.”
I thought it would be good to Google and print a list of popular text acronyms to keep in my reference file. Finding the list was easy, but I was shocked to see it ran for several pages. I decided to dispense with the reference list and just learn a few common text acronyms to have at the ready. Here are my favorites:
AAK: Asleep At The Keyboard. (It happens to me a lot. Fortunately, I’ve never deleted anything important.)
AOYP: Angel On Your Pillow. (I’m not sure what this means, but I like the sound of it. Who couldn’t use an angel on their pillow? If it means something obscene, text me and let me know.)
ATAB: Ain’t That A Bitch (There are other text acronyms that mean the same thing, but I only use the F-word when I’m at home or with my sisters.)
AYMM: Are You My Mother? (I save this one for bossy people who think they can tell me what to do.)
BAC: Bad Ass Chick. (I’m thinking of changing my email signature to this one.)
BIBO: Beer In Beer Out. (No comment, no explanation.)
P-ZA: Pizza (Ditto.)
LD: Later Dude. (I can’t imagine myself saying dude in any conversation, but texting it’s amusing.)
GSOAS: Go Sit On A Snake. (I assume this to mean the same as “go take a hike”; but GSOAS is more visual.)
CRD: Caucasian Rhythm Disorder. (This is my excuse the next time I’m asked to be part of a choreographed dance at a relative’s wedding reception.)
A3: Anytime Anyplace Anywhere. (I’m happily married, but if I weren’t and Antonio Banderas texted me to meet him for a drink, this would be my reply.)
Now, here are a few I created to nicely fit my vernacular:
MTCOTM: Make The Check Out To Me.
BISS: Because I Said So.
SNS: Stirred Not Shaken.
IHA: I’ll Have Another.
Any finally, my favorite, TTSFS: Time To Shop For Shoes.
Kathleen Kaska, Marketing Director